It’s been a rough week with all kinds of turmoil and I don’t know about you, but I could use a vacation. The following is from a script (copyrighted & registered!) That I would like to see made. Of course I would have loved for Garry Marshall to have directed, sigh… but life goes on and we must cheer up. Enjoy!
Going On a Bear Hunt
INT. BULK SHOPPING WAREHOUSE – DAY
It’s every man for himself in the giant superstore where the smallest package of toilet paper is 15 mega rolls. Vendors, chefs and harried moms with crying babies speed by, filling their carts with the steely eyed focus of contestants on a food network grocery store game show. Among the hustle, moving at a much slower pace, is GINGER MURRY (60’s) beautiful, fit and casually dressed. She leisurely pushes her oversized cart while talking on her cell phone oblivious to the dirty looks from the other shoppers.
Amy, sweetheart, I know you and Matt are busy, but then that’s
the point of this trip, isn’t it? Once a year we all set aside a few
days to go camping, unplug and de-stress.
Enter NATE (60’s) not quite as fit as his wife, wears a matching jacket and warm-up suit which was most likely purchased at this very store, He’s eatting a sample cookie and drops a big box of the same brand into Ginger’s cart, waving back at the lady manning the sample table with a wink and a smile. We can see that he’s rarely met a snack he didn’t like. Ginger shakes her head at her husband as she continues on the phone.
You and Matt have your hands so full with the kids and work
that you probably need this more than any of us. Besides- –
Ginger stops to look at some folding chairs as Nate, in the background, tosses a big bag of cheese balls and a giant bag of potato chips into the very full cart and wanders off.
(as she removes the cheese balls from the
cart and places them on a random shelf)
…it’s the only time that Daddy and I get to spend with all of the
grandkids together, not to mention all of you. Between all of the
after-school activities, sports, and recitals, it’s a wonder we ever
Ginger pulls down one of the folding chairs and takes a seat, shifting a little to see if it’s comfortable and blocking traffic. Nate returns, tossing a package of pork rinds in the cart while sampling a paper cup of them.
(into the phone)
Your father is going to kill us all with the junk food he’s buying.
(looking into the cart she has a lightbulb
And, I happen to know you’re as bad as he is, so you aren’t going
to want to miss out on all of this junk.
I realize it’s overwhelming to get it together now, but once you
get up there, it’ll be fun. We always have fun, and besides, you
never know, what if we can’t do this next year? Life is unpredictable
and God knows we aren’t getting any younger. Don’t make me
guilt you. This is important for all of us, please.
(a beat, smiles)
Good, then we’ll see you there. It’s going to be beautiful, just
Nate returns, his arms full of more crap including more cookies. He drops them into the cart and Ginger stands up.
Those are filled with lard!
I know, that’s what makes them so delicious.
Is it your plan to put the kids into a diabetic coma before
telling them what’s going on?
Have you got a better plan?
Not really, no.
EXT. A BEAUTIFUL, TREELINED STREET – DAY
A slightly dated mini-van drives up to a large, well maintained Craftsman house with a detached garage. There is an old basketball hoop with a tattered net from years of use. In the driveway playing a game of one on one is BRETT (38) Nate and Ginger’s middle child, and his daughter, SIENNA (8 going on 15). Sienna steals the ball from her dad when he is distracted by the mini-van pulling into the driveway. Nate and Ginger get out of the van.
What are you guys doing here?
Sure I am.
(Brett fakes to the left, goes right, gets around Sienna
and makes a slam dunk)
Ha! Take that!
(the ball rolls limply into some side bushes and Brett
goes over to hug his mother.)
We are here to get our tents.
Good luck, your mother has been reorganizing things.
Nate walks up to the pad-locked garage, unlocks it and opens the doors to reveal a lifetime of family memories and discarded junk. Everything from baby furniture to holiday decorations is piled precariously. Sienna runs in and grabs a 6ft. stuffed bunny that falls over her like a drunken relative at the end of a wedding.
I remember this guy! I love him.
Don’t pull stuff down, look for camping gear.
Just give me a second.
(she closes her eyes to imagine where she put things)
To the left of Easter and just right of Halloween, next to
the fourth of July.
(she smiles confidently as she opens her eyes)
So in other words, somewhere in the garage.
Exactly! We’ll need the big ice chest too, the metal one. If
you see it, grab it.
Ginger turns to leave while Nate and Brett move further into the garage as best they can, making their way past giant Easter eggs, plastic ghosts, a baby swing and multi-packs of paper towels. Nate points to his right.
Look, I see a folding chair. In fact, I think it’s the same
exact chair we just bought four more of. I knew they looked
familiar. We must need that area over there.
They move in un-piling more things as the camera pulls back to Sienna struggling to button the giant bunny into a Santa suit. Once achieved, she drags him over to the garage doorway where there is a pencil tied to the wall on a piece of string. Next to it are the markings of the kid’s measurements throughout the years. She sits the bunny against the wall.
Dad, throw me your phone.
Kind of busy here.
(climbing over to him and reaching out)
Just toss it.
Brett pulls out his phone and hands it to her. She runs back to the bunny. She snaps a picture. A close up of the phone shows that she is posting the picture to Twitter with the hash tag, “he does exist!”
EXT . THE DRIVEWAY – DAY
Brett and Nate walk up to Sienna who is still fussing with the bunny.
That about does it. Are you ready to go?
Almost. Measure me. I think I’ve grown.
Nate takes the pencil and marks just above her head.
I think you are right. You are gaining on your cousin, Beau.
I should be, he’s three months younger than me. Now measure
Dad. I think he’s shrinking.
(Brett gently pushes her & she smiles)
Old age does that, right?