The Oscars have always inspired me in the past. I usually watch and come away thinking next year that could be me. I dream of having my books, as well as my scripts, made into films, and this being my dream, they are of course academy award worthy. Last night, I watched and felt the air escaping my balloon. I don’t know why.
You would think a year that included a first time nominee winning for her first role, and a first time nominee at eighty-four years of age, I would be more inspired than ever. I’m not, though. Instead I am left scratching my head, knowing that anything is possible, but not having a clue as to how to make this happen for me.
This morning, I am just tired. Tired of trying to figure this out. Tired of being broke, and tired of being disappointed. I know I’ve got the goods, and yet I can’t seem to get these goods the recognition they need to put me up there accepting my award. Not that I really need awards as much as I need to be able to make a living.
I don’t want to be a whiner. I know things could be (at least a little) worse, and I’m grateful for the things that I have. I’m just frustrated and venting. I like feeling inspired and invincible, and that hasn’t happened in a while. I was counting on my usual post-Oscars high where I am invigorated and ready to conquer the world. Today, I’m feeling more of an “eh”. It will pass.
What did you think of the show? I find myself wondering just how much of a tip that pizza delivery guy really did receive last night. I’ll bet he’s happy this morning.