I have woken up in a very bad mood and do you know why? Because my boyfriend was stepping out on me over night. That’s right, he pretended he was going to fix something in my BMW and drove off. Then he disappeared for a long time. Do you know who my boyfriend was? It was Blake Shelton. Are you surprised? Me too.

If that weren’t enough, my big sister, who just by the way was driving a fire truck, also disappeared. Coincidence? I think not, although later when Blake showed up, she did not. We were supposed to be attending a wedding reception/party of some sort, and when he did finally show up he was a cocky asshole. I was so disappointed.

I awoke to the usual sound of the construction workers outside my window who are here six days a week from 6:30a.m. until 6:00p.m. They are by and far the most dependable thing in my life right now. No surprise here either, but I don’t have a BMW, so yeah, what I am saying to you is GRRRUUHH!