My FIRST BLOG

Posted on January 20, 2011 by

The purpose of this site is to find a larger audience for the ridiculous amount of writing I do. How ridiculous, you ask? In just one year I wrote four novels, nearly completed a sequel to the second novel and collaborated with my friend Laura Hall (best known for her piano skills on Whose Line Is It Anyway?) on a musical “Room to Grow” that is, quite frankly, brilliant. Also every day I have continued to write the journals of three characters I created years ago. All the while, I have been raising my two daughters and Laura and I continue work towards mounting a professional production of the aforementioned musical.

Dare I mention that although I’m not particularly great at it, I also draw and/or paint on a daily basis? My immediate future needs to be about getting published while continuing to do what I love, and what better way to go about it than to write? The fact that pen and paper is my favorite medium may serve as a hindrance to my computer-impaired brain, but I am determined to get past that, and lets face it, if this has been posted then I am well on my way.

“Searching for My Wand”, “On a Hot August Afternoon” and “The Salacious Marny Ottwiler” are all available for purchase on Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/Bridget-Straub/e/B006KEG0KE/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0 Go check them out!

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One of My Worst Nightmares

Posted on May 22, 2013 by

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This is a nightmare that no parent ever wants to face and yet it has landed right smack in front of me, and this is not the first time, either. My daughter is sick. She has only one real symptom, and that is a severe stomach ache that has come and gone over the last twenty four hours.

We don’t have health insurance and I feel helpless to do anything for her.

If you are fortunate enough to have health insurance, you probably have no idea what this feels like, and not because you are some right-winged idiot who thinks those of us without health insurance are a bunch of lazy left-winged liberals. No, it is because it goes beyond the frustration of not being able to rush your child to the nearest doctor. That is a huge part of it of course. I want to make the pain go away, but there is also the guilt that you have failed them. That you brought them into this world with every intention of taking care of them and meeting their every need, and now you are not.

One minute she is fine, and the next she is curled up into a ball telling me it hurts so bad. Now, admittedly this is the more dramatic of my daughters, and yet that makes it just that much more difficult to judge at what point you should whisk her off to the emergency room. A place where sadly the care you get (at least in my experience) is questionable at best.

Last night I was ready to go, when the pain suddenly eased up again. Today she has only had one short-lived episode, so I am hoping it is just a bug and will work itself out, but it is hell worrying that it could be her appendix or something worse. I have been all over the internet looking up symptoms.

I’m a good mother who loves her kids with all of her heart and who is working as hard as she can to insure a better future for her them. Sometimes just getting through the present, though, can really knock the wind out of you and leave you desperately trying not to panic.

Update: It’s now Wednesday morning and all is well. I guess I lucked out and it really was just a bug. My daughter is back at school and I am going back to writing and figuring out how to sell some books, because I don’t want to keep living this same nightmare again and again.

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Hearing Stories

Posted on May 20, 2013 by

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I haven’t written a post in a few days because I have been writing a new novel. Like always, this has come out of the blue, and I don’t know where the story is coming from. I’ve tried to think about it, questioning where it’s going, but I can’t project. Then I sit down to write and out it comes. It is both exhausting and addicting.

The story begins when Allie gets a call from her ex-mother in-law Linda, who informs her that her ex, the father to her two grown children, has been in a terrible accident and is asking for her. Allie rushes down to the hospital wondering why he would be asking for her, only to discover that he has been put into a medically induced coma.

I am through the first five chapters and here is what I know so far; I really like this family a lot. I don’t know what is going to happen next or what might be revealed as the story moves forward, but I can’t wait to find out. So if I’m missing for a while, know that I am getting the story and will be back soon.

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How To Offend Without Even Trying

Posted on May 15, 2013 by

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I am obsessing, which annoys me no end. Late last night I received an IM on Facebook from someone that I don’t know personally, but with whom I have been Facebook “Friends” for several months if not a year already. This is someone I have come to like and respect and on whose posts I will occasionally comment, as she has done on mine. When I do comment I almost always receive notification that she has hit the Like button, so I feel really weird about the fact that she sent the following,

 people keep asking me who you are because some of the comments you post on my page rub them the wrong way. someone asked me about you today and i didn’t quite know how to answer them how i knew you.

I responded with an apology, asking what had been offensive, and explaining the possible friend of a friend scenario that has linked us together. She has yet to respond.

Now, logically, I tell myself to let it go. I am very careful on social media. I don’t post negative comments, ever! I am left wondering if perhaps I once said something meant to be funny that didn’t read that way? I don’t know. My sister insists she must be confusing me with someone else, but it’s really bothering me.

Facebook is strange because we all share our lives and think we know people, when in fact we don’t. All of a sudden, something can be misconstrued and you don’t know what’s going on.  I have over 400 friends on Facebook, so obviously I don’t know everyone personally. I have often hesitated to comment on the posts of people I haven’t met because it feels like butting in, and yet why “Friend” someone if you don’t want to speak to them? Bottom line, you don’t have to accept anyone’s friend request.

Let it go, let it go, let it go. I should really just let it go, right?

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Signs!

Posted on May 14, 2013 by

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“Sign, sign, everywhere a sign…”

Does anybody else remember that song? It’s from my childhood and that’s about all I can remember of it. I think there may have been something about a hippie being told to cut his hair. Anyhoo, I recently posted a blurb for a new novel I’ve finished (well, the first draft anyway) and someone related to it, taking it as a sign.

That same day, or the day after, I can’t remember, I was taking a walk down Ventura Blvd., one of L.A.’s busier streets, when I heard something that made me turn around. What I saw was so out of context that it sort of stunned me. Galloping gracefully through a parking lot were two beautiful deer. They were gone in a matter of seconds, and I worried that they would be hit in traffic as they’d been headed for the street. I walked the rest of the way home praying I wouldn’t hear any screeching tires.

Here’s the thing; I live very close to Ventura Blvd. and there are hills above the south side where others have seen deer before, but I never have. In the two years that we have lived here, I have looked up (and walked in) to those hills hoping to see them. Praying for a sign that this is where I belong and that I am on the right path. I’ve even thought, “show me some deer,” although admittedly I haven’t thought it for a long time, and then out of the blue, there they are.

So, sign or coincidence? What do you think? Are we really sent signs or do we just want to believe that we are? Chime in and let me know what you believe.

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Breathe!

Posted on May 14, 2013 by

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When my sister and I first moved to Los Angeles, we made our living doing childcare out of our house. One mom used to be into various new age beliefs, and I remember her telling her child (who couldn’t have been more than two), “Hug a tree, Anna,” anytime she was upset or having a particularly bad day.

Fast forward to today, when I attended a writing workshop during which we were to work on reading in front of others. Public speaking being the #1 fear among all people, it didn’t surprise me that I was feeling a little anxious about this. I knew from before that my issue is breath control. I can read in front of my friends and family no problem, but put me in a room full of people I don’t know well, and I am left considering a run to the nearest tree!

Let me be clear, I’m not a tree hugger, but they provide oxygen, right? And I definitely could have used a little extra oxygen today. As soon as I stood up and walked over to the podium, I felt as though I couldn’t catch my breath. I told myself to relax, took a deep breath and began. I could tell I was rushing, and of course I had been told to be sure and look up from time to time in order to engage the audience. I was told to breathe and to concentrate on the words. I could only do that to a point because I had to remember to look up and engage. I was relieved when my time was up.

The people in the workshop speculated that I didn’t want to be in the room, (which on some level was certainly true at that moment), but they also suggested it was because I didn’t think I deserved to be there, and that could not be further from the truth. I believe in the work I have done to get where I am. I love my books, the TV pilot, the musical and almost everything else I’ve written. I believe that I am going to reap great financial freedom from my writing sometime in the not too distant future, which is why I need to be as prepared as possible.

There was a time when I was intimidated by others because I’m not a perfect size six, but I really think I’m over that now. Would I like to be thinner? Of course I would, but I trust people can get past what I look like in order to hear my words. After all, I’m not a hideous troll. I don’t know what it is that causes the anxiety. Maybe I just need to concentrate on learning to breathe before I add in the big move of looking up. Practice makes perfect, and I am determined to improve.

So, how about you? Do you have a fear of public speaking, and if so, how have you dealt with it?

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Motherhood

Posted on May 11, 2013 by

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Motherhood is the greatest rollercoaster ever invented, although to be fair, to all of the fathers out there I should probably say parenthood in general is a rollercoaster ride. Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, however, and I am a single mother, so my mind naturally goes to what that has meant for me.

It has been without a doubt, the most rewarding, terrifying, exhilarating, heartrending, loving, gut-wrenching, exhausting, uplifting, riveting experience of my life.  Although I would question my own sanity, it is something I would do over and over again because like writing, I find it irresistible. In fact, writing and motherhood have a lot in common. Both take a leap of faith, a lot of imagination and are filled with ups and downs.

I have been blessed with three of the greatest kids in the world, and they make every day an adventure that I look forward to again and again. For me, Mother’s Day is a constant, and I am grateful for every second of it.

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Look on the Bright Side

Posted on May 8, 2013 by

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I have a friend I sometimes walk with in the mornings. We message each other on Facebook as to whether or not we will be meeting up on particular days. Thus the reason I go to Facebook in the mornings. This morning, the first thing that came up was a post about another child accidentally shooting his sibling. This was followed by several other depressing posts that left me obsessing over the state of society throughout my morning walk. Here’s what I concluded; I don’t want to be a part of the negativity.

I don’t want to bury my head and be ignorant (although admittedly, I’d probably be a lot happier that way), but at the same time I don’t want to spread the sadness. I’ve realized this is why I write the stories I write. I want to put more happy endings out into the world. I want to write sitcoms and books that offer hope. I know bad things happen to good people. I know that terrible things are happening in the world every second of every day, but I also believe that we are a product of what we surround ourselves with. I believe that there are just as many good things going on as there are bad, and I choose to direct my focus there. I refuse to find entertainment in the suffering of others, be it on TV, in movies or in the books I read. I don’t want to spend my days locked in a battle with depression so I will make a concentrated effort to avoid adding to the negativity. How about you?

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